Breathe
by CharmyPI-5 the VIII
Summary: Raph will always be able to help his brothers, even in their darkest moments. A gift-fic for Sassatello based on their Amputation AU


**a/n**

I wrote this for a artist I greatly admire, and it's based on their Amputation Au. If you've never seen their work then go look! Sassatello is fantastic!

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Raph hated to admit his weaknesses

When he found that he couldn't lift his normal weight from exhaustion, he'd brush it off as not wanting to waste energy. When long healed bones started to ache, he'd grit his teeth and nearly break what ever poor thing he had been holding.

Not even his brothers never knew he about his sleep problems. But it wasn't that he didn't sleep, he just hadn't had a deep sleep in years. Every time he'd lay his head down the smallest noise would send him to his feet with his sai twisted in his hand. Only to find it was something insignificant like one of his motorcycle manuals falling off the shelf or Klunk seeking out a warm place to sleep. Then it'd be another to calm down shoo Klunk out of the room (or begrudgingly let the kitten sleep on his chest) and lay back down. His mind desperate for rest but his body always on pins and needles.

It's no different tonight

When a strangled gasp reaches him, his body jolts as though shocked. He thrashed for a bit to keep from falling off his chair. Like every other time his eyes search the room for the source of disturbance. But when he finds it, his heart sinks as he remembers why he's there.

Donnie was already on his elbow as he reached down over the blanket to grasp as his leg. His face twisted in pain as he cries out again. Raph is there a moment later, putting an arm around his brothers already sweaty shoulders, "Donnie I'm here- "

His brother gives out a gasped breath, "I-t It hurts."

"I know it does man, I know." Raph rubbed his brothers' shoulders, but his irritation sky rockets when Don's bedroom door opens, "Raph is he- "

"No shit dip shit," He wasn't' in the mood to spoon food Leo information. When they had all met up the night before to discuss Don's problem, Leo had been the first to pull the self-sacrificing "Let me be the wind beneath your wings" attitude that, though well meaning, irritated him to no end. He had known for a fact that though they had agreed to take turns Leo wouldn't have possibly gotten any sleep knowing one o shift brothers was in distress, "go get some ice, a bowl, and a rag. And Get some of that medicine April brought by.

Leo lingered in the doorway just long enough for Raph to lose patience and chuck a poor book in his direction sending him on his mission. Again, Leo was well meaning but sometimes needed a kick in the ass to move. But now that Leo was gathering what he needed, he could focus on Donnie.

Poor freaking Donnie

If he had said that outload it would have only made Donnie dwindling psyche worsen. HE couldn't help but glance down Donatello's legs, maybe a normal person wouldn't of immediate noticed anything amiss with the gasping pained turtle, but then they'd notice the outline of his left leg and the absence of the other.

Raph still had a hard time believing what happened.

Don's near second mutation, having to cut off his leg in a desperate attempt to prevent it from happening. …barely a week ago. But these night incidents didn't start till a few nights ago when Donnie started experiencing something known as "Phantom Limb Pain" where the person would experience the pain as though the limb was still there.

It was just one of the many problems that had arisen in the past week.

The purple masked turtle gave out another gasp of pain, bringing Raph's attention back to him. he was so focused rubbing his brothers shoddiest that he didn't hear Leo run back in and leave the asked for items on. Raph dropped the rag in the water before twisting open the pill bottle, "Donnie can you- "

"I'm so sorry."

Raph froze, he wasn't sure that Donnie had said anything, but his brother was finally breathing regular again, though hard. His face was pressed hard on his pillow, smothering his quick panicked breaths. He could just feel Leo's anxiety hovering behind him and wave dim away. Waiting till the bedroom door shut before taking a slow breath.

They had learned the first night that Donnie tend to do worse when people crowded him, even if it was just two of them. Having one person hovering with him was barely tolerable to his dwindling pride. But it was a necessary evil. Raph sat up closer to Don, before finally getting a pill out. Though painkillers hadn't helped with the limb pain, they had discovered that taking low dosage anti-anxiety pills helped Don calm down enough to fall back to sleep, "Don, yam don't need to apologize- "

"Oh, I don't?!" Don looked to him, resting on his forearms with streaming brown eyes, "I don't need to apologize for having you watch over me in my sleep like a child?! For screaming in the middle in the night and terrifying everyone?! Don't tell me I don't need to apologia Raph, because apologizing is the only thing that helps right now." He turned his head away and pressed his forehead hard on his pillow. Soft sobs began to escape him.

Raph was never one for feeling helpless, there was always someone or some physical barrier he could tear down. Something cathartic to help his own negative feelings to go away. But the truth was, this wasn't an enemy he could just beat to submission, or a doomsday device he could chuck out a window.

This was his brother

His hurting, little brother

The red masked ninja shifted closer, draping his arm over his brothers shoulders and giving him the best hug, he could without disturbing his brother too much. Resting his cheek on his brothers scalp as he closed his eyes.

The sobs eventually died, and Don's breathing finally became less frantic. When his brother began to shift around, Raph took it as a cue to release his brother. Donnie rolled onto his shell with his arm draped over his face, "I-I'll take the medicine now."

"Thanks." Raph, for what fell like the umpteenth time, popped out the small pill. Helping his brother up into a leaning position against his chest long enough to take the tablet and drain the rest of cup. Raph took advantage of his brothers thirst to carefully use the wet rag to wash the tear stains from his brothers face, his arm wrapped around his brothers shoulders again to help support his smaller form. After Don finally finished he set the glass aside, Raph half expected Don to roll back onto bed and fall asleep but instead Don leaned more of his weight against him, "I-I 'm sorry Raphie. I didn't mean to yell."

Raph had to bite his lounge to keep from brushing off Don's apology, in his heart his knew Don had nothing to apologies for. But even so, '"NO problem Donnie, it's kind of weird to get a taste of my own medicine."

Donnie gave out a hollow noise that Raph might have mistaken for a laugh. His immediate youngest brother leaned away from him and finally laid back down. Raph waited till Don shifted around before pulling the blanket back over him and refilling his cup with a water pitcher they had started keeping in the room, "Need anything else Bro?"

His brother gave him a look from his pillow, before shifting over to the left, "Please don't sleep in that old chair all night, you're going to break it."

And suddenly they were children again. Playing musical beds with anyone of their brothers, sneaking between bedrooms when they were still scared to sleep alone and giggling into the night. Even if it was for a reason Raph never wanted to deal with, "How the hell would I break that chair?" He asked as he laid down pulling the covers back up, "Serials, I think Dad had that chair before he had us."

"Probably but you are a giant mutant turtle Raphie,"

"You are calling me fat Brainiac?!" he elbowed Donnie

"In no way shape or form. I'm merely sting you like to be the strongest guy in the room, and muscles weight more than fat."

Raph probably would have elbowed Donnie again if he didn't think he'd knock him off the bed altogether. Instead he shifted down and yawned," Get some sleep nerd, I'm right here for you."

He would always be there to help Donnie Breathe


End file.
